I hate shoveling

Such a negative title! In fact I do not actually hate shoveling. I hate being out of shape, and nearly having a heart attack while shoveling. I also hate when I throw out my back in the final seconds of finishing the driveway. Bah.
I am also quite happy about the snow for the child. He finally gets to go play in snow after months, and months, and months of waiting. There really is such a small window of opportunity for children to experience the joy of winter before it becomes a chore.
I am boring myself with this post, but in my defense I am being talked to constantly by a seven year old who wants me to play cook with his play food. sigh.

i am not sure blogging is for me. I cannot find my voice, I talk about my life more than my art…but maybe that is because all I do is try to tidy and organize my art space so that I can actually work there. I have way too much stuff. There is no where to work since all available areas are covered with stuff. I think the other issue is that I am below ground making art. There is no natural light, and the only light available is directly overhead, which really sucks. Excuses, excuses, but I just cannot bring myself to go into the basement and create. When I had the boy’s room it was wonderful. I had windows that gave me glorious light, and I could even open them in the right weather. I had a door for privacy, and my own sense of space. I realize that I should be able to create anywhere if I really want to make art, but giving up that space was really, really hard.

With my new job I have renewed inspiration. The museum has some really amazing art, and the tiny gift shop is also filled with beautiful handmade things made by local artist. I want to be that local artist. In my head I am. I just need to keep producing, and tell my inner critic to shut the fuck up. The voices in my head are quite loud and very mean. I have listened to them far too much over the course of my life. I am not getting any younger, and that does not mean that I have no opportunities left, which is how I tend to feel. I have wasted many, many years dreaming and not doing. Dreams get you nowhere if you are not prepared to work for them to come true.

off to work!

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